Gone
by Darla Kane
Summary: Cordy has to deal with a great loss...


title: "Gone"  
  
author: Darla Kane  
  
e-mail: DarlaB@gmx.de  
  
website: http://www.angelic-art.de.vu  
  
distribution: Angelic Art & Fiction, AI, ff.net, Nothing Fancy - anyone else just ask! :)  
  
rating: PG-13, I'd say - ANGST!  
  
pairing: Cordy/Angel  
  
disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters - they all belong to Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt, Mutant Enemy, WB, 20th Century Fox etc.  
  
spoilers: The story takes place sometime in season 4 so just to be sure I'd say all of season 3 and also season 4 rumors.  
  
summary: Cordy has to deal with a great loss...  
  
feedback: desperately waiting for it... :)  
  
A/N 1: Did I mention angst? Don't read on if you want a happily ever after...  
  
  
  
Silence. Emptiness. Pain.  
  
I can't believe he's gone.  
  
***********  
  
Fred came downstairs just to find Gunn waiting in the lobby.  
  
"How is she?"  
  
"Finally asleep... I guess."  
  
She let out a short sob and tears started to form in her eyes once again - like so often in the last couple of days. Or had it really been just some hours? She couldn't tell.  
  
"Charles, it's just..."  
  
Gunn took her into his embrace and tried to soothe her when her tears started to run freely over her cheeks.  
  
"Shh, baby. We'll get through this... shh..."  
  
He wanted to tell her that everything would be alright, would get back to normal - but they both knew that would be a lie...  
  
***********  
  
Nothing would be alright and nothing would ever be the same again. And she wasn't asleep... She just lay there on his bed, wrapped up in one of his shirts. She couldn't cry anymore. She just felt numb... empty... lost... hands clutching a silver bracelet.  
  
***********  
  
"Happy birthday... again."  
  
Angel smiled at her - and she just loved it. Loved the way she could make her best friend smile.  
  
"Don't wanna open it up finally?" he asked sheepishly.  
  
So she did - and found a small silver bracelet inside.  
  
"Oh Angel, it's so beautiful. You needn't have done this."  
  
"But I wanted to."  
  
He helped her to put it on and she watched the way the silver was shining in the dimly lit room  
  
"Thank you so much."  
  
And then she just hugged him.  
  
***********  
  
She couldn't take her eyes off the bracelet. A minute ago she had thought that she had no more tears to cry but just staring at the small gift reflecting the pale moonlight broke her again and her whole body was shivering with sobs.  
  
***********  
  
Fred slowly went inside Angel's room where the vampire sat by the window, silently looking at the stars.  
  
"She doesn't even remember me," he said in a low voice that was filled with pain.  
  
Fred laid a comforting hand on his shoulder  
  
"Give her some time. She just came back from wherever she has been. I'm sure she will remember everything soon."  
  
A moment of silence passed between them and Fred thought Angel might reply something but he just kept standing there, unmoving... Eyes still locked at the night sky. So Fred left the room as quietly as she had entered.  
  
And Angel whispered, "I hope..."  
  
***********  
  
"The stars are wonderful tonight, aren't they?"  
  
He turned around immediately when he heard her voice - and wondered if she'd ever been more beautiful. In her long white dress she reminded him of an angel and he was speechless. She didn't seem to notice, though, but just walked up beside him and looked down the cliff, her eyes resting on the ocean.  
  
"Almost romantic," she said softly.  
  
Angel followed her gaze.  
  
"Not almost... completely," he corrected her as softly.  
  
"I need to tell you something, Angel. I should have told you a long time ago but I guess I was just too blind to see..." She slowly turned around to face him and looked deep into his brown eyes. "I'm in love with you, Angel. I know you probably think I'm crazy now but..."  
  
Before she could say anything more, she felt cool lips on hers, whispering, "I love you, too. I love you so much..."  
  
***********  
  
Cordy woke up with a start, hot tears streaming down her face. Somehow she must have fallen asleep - and now she could almost still feel that gentle kiss and hear an echo of his "I love you." She buried her head in his pillow. "No! No! No!" Why couldn't it have been that way? Why?  
  
***********  
  
"No!" Angel screamed when the demon who had broken into the Hyperion caught Cordelia off guard and threw her right into the next wall before it fled. He was by her side within seconds.  
  
"Cordy, are you alright?" His eyes were pleading, "Say something... please!"  
  
When she recovered, all she could see was Angel's face, concerned eyes watching her.  
  
"Cordelia?" Angel asked again.  
  
But she just kissed him - long and deeply. When they finally broke their kiss, she just said, "I remember."  
  
***********  
  
She was still sobbing. How could I forget? How could I ever forget *him*? What I felt for him? These thoughts only made her cry harder. Why couldn't I remember sooner? Or never forget in the first place?  
  
***********  
  
"Don't wanna interrupt two lovebirds but we got a demon to kill, bro'."  
  
Gunn couldn't help himself and smiled at Fred, who had also realized what just happened. But nonetheless, they had a job to do.  
  
"I know," Angel replied, still keeping his eyes locked with Cordy's. She remembered. And she had just kissed him. He helped her get up and when he noticed that she was still a bit shaky, he asked, "Will you be alright? It won't take long... I promise. Then we can talk..."  
  
Cordy simply nodded, too caught up in emotions she hadn't felt for weeks. Fred went over to them.  
  
"I'll take care of her, okay?"  
  
Angel finally let go off her hand and ran to the door, where Gunn was already waiting.  
  
"Angel?" Cordy called out to him and he stopped in his tracks to look at her. "Be careful!"  
  
Angel gave her an encouraging smile before he and Gunn rushed outside.  
  
"We'll talk later..." Cordy whispered.  
  
.***********  
  
They never had that talk. And they would never have it in the future. He was gone... forever... She still heard Gunn's words when he came back that morning - alone. "I'm so sorry, Cordelia," was all he was able to say. And that was the moment she just broke. She couldn't remember what happened next... But did it matter? Nothing mattered anymore...  
  
***********  
  
Her Angel was gone...  
  
Just silence... just emptiness... just pain... was left. 


End file.
